Ingredients:

• A newly formed planet, preferably born out of the solar nebula
• A layer of ozone (optional, as it is going to be depleted further in the recipe anyway)
• An assortment of animal species: mammals, fishes, crustaceans etc., for later use of the species owning the Cosmic Mind
• The species owning the Cosmic Mind

For tempering:

• Countless to infinite generous servings of religion (Beware: it should be of the ‘triggering’ kind)
• A pinch of the females of the species, whose ambitions, passions and mere ‘thoughts’, are crushed firmly to a fine powder
• A malnutritioned section, can be included from any part of the world
• United people, finely chopped into caste, creed, culture, gender, sexuality, culture, background, language, race, status, etc.
• Freshly picked young soldiers sprinkled with patriotism and drenched in jingoism
• Corruption and crime, to taste

Method:

1. Place the females of the species on a slab and cudgel with misogyny so that it turns into a finer paste, as some feminists may arise in the process.
2. Further malnourish the malnutritioned section, using corruption at this stage of preparation.
3. Bake the soldiers in the heat of unnecessary, illogical war arguments from the oven of political power.
4. Toss ingredient number four into the generous serving of religion, so that the divisions deepen further in intensity, in the name of God, dharma and morality.
5. Saute all the ingredients on a soft flame of lies and falsehood of the so-called cosmic-minded beings, especially the ones called ‘leaders’.
6. Add the animals to the planet pleasing the whims and fancies of the cosmic-minded beings for being cut down as per their discretion and convenience. Season with the tempering mixture.
7. Warm the whole, such that polar ice caps melt. Serve hot.

NOTE: The above-mentioned recipe leads to global catastrophe. Be careful in handling the final product, it may collapse.